Friends

This is where I started as a teenager when I realized there were meaningful connections between me and others. Magical connections that change us as we see how differences among us somehow make us better. Of course, the opposite can also happen. People can be hurtful as well as loving.

While seeking the loving connections was the beginning of romance and love, realities of work, politics, money, schedules, appointments, obligations and other adult endeavors devoured the magic. I got lost in the muddle that crowds out dreams and eventually kills who we are.

After 50 years, I finally see how the magic and the mundane can live side by side. And it all goes back to friendship. Meaningful connections that happen independent of circumstance, obligation or organisation.

You know you have a friend if they stick around or come back. The age old test of whether your date was "successful" is if he/she looks back after saying good bye actually has deeper influence. But seeing past the games and the barriers we put up is not easy.

The main reason for that is the barriers come from myself more than the other person. If you think you have no friends or friends have failed you, the only place to start rebuilding is by tearing down our own defenses against those people who stick around.

It's easy not to appreciate them because they seem too familiar, boring, predictable and not as exciting as new friends. But without them, we are less than who we are and make it harder to make new friends.

Now to come back to the hurtful times. People are not perfect. So even the best intentions can cause pain. What was lacking as a teenager seeing the magic of friendship is that commitment is not easy. Pain is involved to stick by someone in their weakness.

The real meaning of Christmas is central to the pain. It's not really just about a sweet baby Jesus though that's where it all started. But it's about the God of the Universe, becoming fully human just to experience life as we know it. The mystery of this fully God, fully human being (central to the Christian faith) is God somehow lived a mortal life (contrary to the concept of God itself) to the point of death and then regaining life. This story is incomprehensible, illogical but oh so romantic and inspiring. And this act is the key to friendship.

A more mundane view is in "To kill a mocking bird" when Atticus tells his daughter " You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view […] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." This is much easier to understand but also what God began to do at Christmas.

Imagine the supreme being so interested in us that he became like his own creation just to be our friend. Well you don't have to imagine if you believe this happened and continues today.