Making music and lights

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Music and Lights
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no time to blame

Time does not exist. It is a human measurement of change. So if there is no change, time is meaningless. Yet most of the time, we avoid change. When something happens unexpectedly, we call it luck or fate or god's will or just about anything to avoid responsibility.

Then there is time travel. We all want to cheat regret or fate. Whether it is a lottery ticket or undoing a wrong or avoiding death, we wish time travel were a possibility. Perhaps it is. But could we really cheat the past?

All the effort to find God's Will can be similar. Under the disguise of doing whatever God wants us to do, could it be we secretly want to blame him for any tragedy that may ensue? After all you told me to do it...

I think all this creative blame seeking is beside the point. If time is to measure change, we are better off seeking to change the future together until we die. So Live!

infinity within time and space

Infinity is a simple concept for having no limits. My blog yesterday started with a quote from Jesus saying something quite unpopular: rich people can't be saved. Although we can talk about infinity, God and salvation, by definition they are things beyond our limited, mortal and pagan comprehension.

While we are not disturbed by infinity or zero (both completely abstract but necessary states in mathematics and science), there is much much much controversy about God and salvation. Since they are a matter of belief, it's up to each person to work out their conviction. The philosophical term is a priori.

Since infinity, God and salvation are mysteries and beyond our grasp, we can only try to understand. Similarly: love, commitment and trust are also abstract but can be experienced: a posteriori. I think the evidence of love/commitment/trust are evidence that infinity/God/salvation exist. Not sure why but it makes sense to me.

It then becomes a matter of knowing God. These 2 songs show the intimately safe and majestically mysterious aspects of the Master of the infinite Universe which sustains our fragile precious lives. For me God in our mortal lives is as necessary as infinity within time and space, in order for life and science to work.

Looking the wrong way

Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” The context is a rich guy asking how to be saved.

There is so much tongue in cheek the Bible quotes in this blog. But in the end, I would summarize: Look stupid, just follow God and love his people and you'll find real treasure. Money only makes us look the wrong way.

Because money can do so much and there is so much focus on it everyday everywhere, I too did not want to face the truth of what Jesus said. Focus on money, build your confidence on it and it kills. I've seen it because people, real value and simple pleasures are overlooked because of money. Take a luxury meal in a 3 Michelin Star restaurant. There is nothing wrong with it. Yet if you get used to it, a simple noodle in a hawker stall will be sidelined because it is "beneath us".

While food can be a matter of taste, people are far more important. For why do we start families and have babies it not to value people? If money influences the way to value lives, it destroys our humanity and therefore salvation. For being human is not about building our own kingdom, it is about building value in the lives that surround us. No matter how small or large our circle of influence is.

Money, though important, is just a product of these relationships. In a way, we must avoid money in calculating our next move or who to befriend or what to seek because it is as much a distraction as a necessity.

The comment before the initial quote: "21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Treasure is always in lives and not numbers on a bank statement. Simple but so so difficult if you think you can't do without money.

What can be more direct than this? "19“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 22“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! 24“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. 25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Can't give up

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for"... I used to think the goal was to find it. But I now know the seeking is more fun.

Since I started blogging, it was about finding a new job, finances, my healing, the past and finding a new beginning. I thought that I would soon announce some Hollywood ending.

Now I see the journey began even when I felt like shit (in this case no other word seems to be enough). Because like this song which hooks :

"No you didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that you are with me..."

I just won't give up now.

Just a note about the music I like. They may start slow and in a minor key sometimes, but they celebrate life in explosive rhythm and rifts... whether it's classical or hip-hop.

words that begin with f

I always thought that countdowns and celebrations were superfluous because the lines drawn are arbitrary. We could celebrate every hour, every morning or every time we get hiccups but tomorrow most of the world counts down the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013.

Of course the collective wish for newness and resolve to succeed is powerful. For what we cannot do alone, a group of focused talented people can do better even though success is never guaranteed.

2012 was the final year of the Mayan calendar from a civilization that ended much earlier. But we are all intrigued with endings with particular fear of "The End" or our own end, so tabloids, twitter feeds, discussions built up anticipation of some catastrophe on Christmas eve or the Winter Solstice.

What does not change is that we all end and we do not know when. Coming to terms with that is a key to living fully.

For me the passing year was about letting go and seeing clearly again. It was about unloading burdens created by facades, fortune, fame and fear of failure... things that start with f I guess.

I rediscovered the long forgotten lessons and valuable experience of my past that I buried under a "been there, done that" list. What I thought were nightmares became building blocks of a new me. None of the people who enriched my life and my attempts to love others were wasted.

Even though hard-hearted people may seem evil sometimes and can wield dangerous power, I will not give up on them but will do my best not to join them. What I write is not just cerebral but the words flow from feelings, depth of experience and a desire to live as fully as I can in the time and space I have been given.

People are my focus as are fun, fantasy, forward moving, living fully... why is the title "things that begin with f"? Just like 2013 is an arbitrary point in time, f is as good a letter as any... without prejudice to the infamous f word.

In keeping with my random title, listen to the "all out of love" song by Jagged Edge. My photo shows my love for the fiat cinquecento 500 which is another f word ;-)

Spontaneously prepared

Being prepared is a good habit unless it takes over all possibility of spontaneity. I think this is the source of my remaining despair. It's a dread I'm not ready for today.

It was OK for school because classes and assignments are clear cut and spontaneous activity is duly scheduled. Many jobs are still that way. But the schedule, predictability and our never-ending preparedness may keep us our job but we could loose all sense of what we want. I guess that's what vacations are for: to find the balance of being spontaneously prepared.